Dear Mr Ted
by pinksocks
Summary: A diary from Tosh's point of view, showing the troubles of teenage life. Rated for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Hey! I know I haven't updated Almonds and Ready Meals, but I'm currently fighting with the next chapter but it just isn't playing ball. I wrote this in about a week and a half, and there are nine more chapters sitting on my notebook waiting to be typed up. It's actually finished! They'll get done eventually, but I will definitely be persuaded to type them faster the more you lot review. I hope you like this, it's my favourite story that I've written so far. It's written as a diary from Tosh's point of view, and is unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

.......

Dear Diary? That sounds pathetic. Dear Kitty? That's just copying Anne Frank. Mr Ted? That'll do.

Dear Mr Ted,

I know that I put you up in the loft 7 years ago and you haven't seen the light of day since, but there is no way that I'm writing a diary to no one. So I'm writing to you, Mr Ted, because you were there for me to cuddle since I was three.

A lot has been happening since I last saw you. For example, I grew breasts. This may be a bit of a shock to you, been as you are a teddy. I also moved to 'big school', moved to college, cut my hair off and found a best friend.

But moving to big school started a lot of responsibilities. Like homework. And fitting in. And boyfriends. Sad to say none of this stopped at college.

The first one is a big problem at the moment. I have an English essay about Macbeth in for tomorrow, which at the minute is around a paragraph long. I also have a pile of algebra which is 8 questions long, with 7 sub questions within it. It always annoys me when they do that, because they're basically tricking you. You think "Oh, it's only eight questions, it won't take that long." Three hours later, you're still sitting there because there are actually 56 of them. Thanks, Mrs Smith. I do actually have a life that doesn't involve maths homework, even if I am good at it.

And fitting in, I gave up on that years ago. Most of the of the other girls are blond with legs so long that they reach their armpits, and I haven't grown since year 5. But to be honest, that's the way I like it. I wouldn't want to be a clone of Miley Cyrus, or Hannah Montana, or whatever her name is. Disney channel pisses me off. It's all teenagers with unnaturally white teeth that look like they grew up in the developing world. What's so attractive about that? And the boys, Zac Efron for example. What the hell? I would actually like a man that doesn't look more girly than me, thank you very much.

Talking about men brings me to boyfriends. And friends, of that matter. My group is basically misfits, and I love it. My best friend happens to be Jack. He's gorgeous, with brown hair, blue eyes and a laugh that lights up the room. I swear, ten minutes on the phone with him and I'm out of the mood that threatened the house to crack open from the thunder and lightning.

Spots. Spots is the other bain of my life. I usually don't get many, but when I do there in a really obvious place. Like on the end of my nose, or in between my eyebrows. So that it isn't covered by my fringe. There that big that there threatening to take over my face, or a small country if there really big. It's not fair. It'd much rather have smaller ones but more of them, because they can be covered up. If I try to cover these up, it looks like I'm growing a second head. Not an attractive look.

Boyfriends. Now, boyfriends are a sore subject. My love life has been none existent since Alex. Now Alex was pretty short, only a couple of inches taller than me, and had black hair and wore contacts that made his eyes look like cat eyes. I really liked him, until her tried to rape me behind the science lab. My mum said that it was my own fault because he was three years older than me. Thanks, mum.

The Alex Incident was two years ago, and no one has even shown

even an inkling of interest since then. Not one flirty glance. Thanks, men of Wales.

So, Mr Ted, there are a lot of things wrong with my life. Macbeth is calling me from across the room, a spot on my face is trying to take over France, and one more thing.

I'm in love with my best friend. My very gay best friend. My very gay best friend that that I've known for four years. My very gay best friend that I've known for four years that I went to after The Alex Incident and cried all over his best shirt. He fed me chocolate and we watched Rom-Com's for eleven hours straight until we fell asleep on each other.

My life is fucked, Mr Ted.

A/N- Did you like? You'll get another chapter faster if you review!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

AN- In response to the unsigned review that was left, Tosh is around 17. She mentions in another chapter that they go to a pub and Jack buys all the drinks for them because he's the only one who's 18, so he has ID. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!! I've just realised that these chapter are a bit on the short side, but they are diary entries so I didn't want to make them that long. Sorry!

Right, this is probably the last chapter you will get in a while, because I'm insanely busy until I break up with a show that I'm Stage Manager for and what-not, so you'll have to wait. Please review, if it is signed then I will reply when I have time. I love hearing what you guys think. Right, time for a bit of Jantoness. Enjoy!

......

So Jack is the best person I've ever met, Mr Ted. He's funny and caring, and so many other pleasant adjectives I'd fill up the whole

book just describing him.

But physically he's perfect as well. The kind of perfect that makes men hide under a rock for seven years when they meet him. He's just over 6"1, blue eyes, brown hair, six pack, and a smile that could make any lesbian turn in a second. I'm not kidding. I've seen it firsthand.

You're probably thinking that this isn't possible, Mr Ted. But believe me, it is. Jack is like the best parts of Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp combined, with the best personality ever. He's a heartthrob on legs. It's just not fair.

But the best part of him is that he's oblivious. I could dance around naked in front of him with a sign saying "Take me" in neon letters and he'd say "Tosh, I didn't realize how good your legs were." For me, it means I get to flirt constantly and he doesn't even bat a so-long-and-fluffy-any-girl-would-kill-for-them eyelash. It's fantastic.

I get to do everything with him that a girlfriend would, apart from shag him, obviously. Like, last Friday night, he stopped over at mine and we had popcorn while watching How to Look Good Naked. It would be every girlfriends dream to get their boyfriend to watch Gok with them.

So why am I not happy?

Because he isn't mine, Mr Ted. He will never be mine, because I don't have the necessary man bits.

Life's a bitch.

And to make matters worse, I introduced him to one of my other gay friends, Ianto.

We were going to the cinemas and Ianto rung me up. He was complaining that, and I quote, "My grandma has a better social life than me". So I said that he could come with us.

This is possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

Ianto was late as usual, so I was standing inside with Jack. The conversation went like this-

Me- "Ianto's always late. He drives me insane."

Jack-"Ianto? We're meeting a boy?"

Me- "Yeah, didn't I tell you?"

Jack- "Nope. Is he cute?"

Me-"Kind of. He's not my type. But then again it wouldn't matter if he was my type anyway, because he's never going to be interested in me."

Jack-"Why not? Don't go all woe-is-me on me again. Why wouldn't he be interested in a gorgeous girl like you?"

Me-"Because I'm a girl."

And in this one simple conversation my life was over. Jack's eyes lit up, and he started to scan the crowd for he eventually turned up ten minutes later, which made him half an hour late, Jack froze. Ianto didn't notice him at first, just kept walking towards me, until her was practically on top of us. And then he froze as well. I jumped in before the silence started.

"Jack, this is Ianto" I said. "Ianto, meet Jack."

But they just completely ignored me. As in, didn't even blink.

I was left standing staring at them both, who were that flabbergasted by each other that they didn't blink for a full 10 seconds. I counted them. And that was when I realized that life was over as I knew it.

After about a minute, I had enough and started waving my hands in front of their faces. It took a whole ten seconds for them to react.

For the rest of the day I felt like a gooseberry. I don't think either of them looked at the screen once. I ended up skipping a KFC because I couldn't stand it any longer, so I went home.

Five hours later, Jack rung me. I was that pissed off at him that I let it go to answer phone. He only said two sentences before I burst into tears.

"Tosh, he asked me out. Isn't it great?"

My life just got even worse, Mr Ted. What am I going to do?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I'm so sorry! I lost the notebook with all of the chapters in, so I haven't been able to type it up all over Christmas. But it's all good, I found it buried under my bed. Yay! I promise two chapters as compensation. Once again I'm sorry there so short, but they are diary entries so they wouldn't be that long. Onwards!

Dear Mr Ted,

So I haven't seen Jack in over a week. It's really starting to get to me now. We usually see each other every night if we're not doing anything because he literally lives 10 minutes away. He's that loved up with Ianto that he doesn't have any time for me.

I don't even see him at college any more. We used to sit with each other in the canteen, but now he sits with Ianto. I did sit with them once, but it was like talking to a brick wall. In the end I went to sit with Rachael from Algebra.

I mean, it's not like I haven't got other mates. But we were so close that there's at least five hours of the day that used to be Jack Time, but now are redundant. My bedroom has never been so tidy, and my homework is done on the day its set, That never happens.

Ianto rang me up earlier. It went like this-

Me- Hello?

Ianto- Hi Tosh, its Ianto.

Me- Hi Ianto. What's up?

Ianto- I was just wondering if you wanted to come out to Frankie and Bennies with me and Jack tomorrow. I feel a bit guilty about how I've kind of stolen Jack, I know how close you two were.

[Insert me thinking about gooseberry moment]

Me- I'd love to, but I've...

Ianto-It won't just be us, I've invited one of my names as well, his name's Owen.

[Insert me feeling very sorry for Owen because he now has to play gooseberry].

Me- Okay. What time?

Ianto- I've booked a table for 6:30. I'm so glad you could come, Tosh. See you then.

Me- Bye Ianto.

So now I have to go and play double gooseberry with this Owen. At least it gets me out of the house, my mum was starting to think I was becoming a hermit.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- here you go, as promised. This one is even shorter. I'm sorry! You did get two though. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!

!!!!!!!

A miracle has happened in the form of Owen.

Seriously Ted, you thought Jack sounded good? Owen is God in human form. He's about half a head taller than me, so pretty small for a guy, and eyes the exact colour of chocolate and hair that's soft enough to run your hands through, and when you run your hands through it, it looks even sexier.

Well, I guess that it's soft. I haven't_ actually_ run my hands through it yet, but it looks soft.

Not only is he shag ably gorgeous, we get on really well as well. For example, one conversation went like this...

O- So Tosh, what did you take at A level?

Me- Algebra, English Literature, ICT and Dance.

O- I thought you might be a dancer, you've got the figure. I took dance as well.

Me- Really? There's not many boys who take dance.

O- I know. I always get stick with the lifting.

You see Mr Ted!!!! He's perfect. Amazing. Tip-Top boyfriend material. Gorgeous, makes me laugh, and he's interested in the same things as me.

But there's one problem. I think he might be gay.

This isn't a laughing matter Ted. The facts back me up. 90% of male dancers are gay. It's just sod's law that I meet someone who's perfect boyfriend material who's gay. _Again_.

My mum's pleased though. She said that, and I quote, "I like you hanging around with these boys because you like them and they won't get you pregnant." Thanks mum. Love you too.

So life has gone from very crappy to not quite so crappy. My mum doesn't think that I'm a hermit any more, and I've got a new (maybe gay) friend. The fact that I fancy the pants off him is completely irrelevant.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I've had exams and then I was in a show, but other than that there really is no excuse, been as it's already written and all I have to do is type it up. I'm sorry! I'm gonna attempt to put all of the chapters up today.

...

We have ground breaking news Mr Ted! Abort best friend mission, we are returning to base to refuel.

I was talking to Jack today. Yes, this is big news, but not ground breaking. Ianto wasn't at college, so he came to apologise for being such a twat. It went like this-

Jack: Tosh, I'm really sorry for being such a twat the past few months. [Holds out box of chocolates]. I completely ditched you for Ianto. He's just so great and I haven't had a boyfriend in so ages, he's just so [insert positive compliments about Ianto x 9]. Anyway, it wasn't fair on you at all and I'm really sorry. Forgive me?

Me: Jack, you completely ditched me for a whole two months. You think a box of chocolates is going to solve it? [Violins in background]

Jack: Their praline.

Me: You know me so well.

[Heartfelt hug, meaning apology accepted]

So Jack's finally come to his senses and thought about me. Thank god for that! I have my best friend back Ted!

But the best news is still to come. We got onto the news of Owen, when we were scoffing the chocolates in the common room.

Jack: So you've been spending a lot of time with Owen then? He's a really nice guy. I thought you'd get on with him.

Me: [Mumbled around a mouthful of praline] Yeah, he's a really good mate now.

Jack: I heard he asked out Gemma from my old school the other day.

Me: Gemma? [Flickering of hope in stomach]

Jack: Yeah. You don't know her; she's in my Performing Arts group.

OWEN ISN'T GAY MR TED!

You don't get just how great life has become Mr Ted. I've got Jack back from Planet Ianto, which is enough to jump around the room about in itself. How To Look Good Naked is just not the same without him. I no longer have to fill the five hours that were spare of my day with homework and cleaning, it can be Jack time again!

I also have a new friend who happens to be very charming. Who now may become more of a friend in the future. All I have to do is wait for this Gemma girl to set him free. And all this in one day!

Life is perfect Mr Ted!


	6. Chapter 6

So much for my life being perfect, Mr Ted. It's been two weeks since Owen asked out Gemma, and they've been that loved up its verging on Jack/Ianto mushiness. It's driving me mad.

So Owen has ditched me again. What is it about men ditching me? First Alex, then Jack, now Owen. Great.

And Jack's gone back to Ianto again. Not that he ever left him, but they've gone back to being as sickly sweet as chocolate coated M&M's. So I'm friendless again. Brilliant.

But there's loads of things to fill my time now. My mum caught me reading again for the third time in one week, and she's given me a list of chores. CHORES. I absolutely hopeless at housework. When I first attempted to iron, I ended up in A&E with severe burns, not good. My mum was there, yet she still gets me to iron. WHY? I have the burn to prove it! Why torture me?

It just isn't fair, Mr Ted. Not only am I best friend-less, but i also have to do chores. Brilliant!

And just to top it all off, my teachers are on my back. I'm apparently failing Dance. How on earth can I be failing Dance when I'm on a B? Apparently this isn't good enough for an 'exceptional student'. Since when has a B been failing? Have I suddenly moved to Mars?

I swear, I'm going to crack under the pressure. I just can't cope. In times like this, I'd usually go to Jack and he'd say something that was funny, caring and unexpected all at the same time and made it all better. But Jack's too preoccupied with Ianto to care. Great.

I've had to settle for an evening in front of the telly with the parents and chocolate ice cream. A very poor substitute.

My life is once again fucked. When did everyone move on without me?


End file.
